It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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