she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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