My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
