This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
