mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
