we have officially lost it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
