Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
