Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
