after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
