i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
