He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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