My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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