does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
