AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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