In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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