I'm drive I can fine osifer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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