she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
