Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We left an ass print on the piano.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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