didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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