What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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