Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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