I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I love you.
Bad choice
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