Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
