yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize