Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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