At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize