So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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