So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
