Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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