Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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