I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
