i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
