Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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