You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
