On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
