Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
