Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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