I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
