Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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