yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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