so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize