he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
