i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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