I want to walk on stilts...naked
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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