just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
