I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
