It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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