just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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