It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
