My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
