It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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