Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize