Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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