I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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