Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
