if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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