$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
