You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to calm my uterus...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
