Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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