i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
